My name is Amber Joy Shuford-Montney, but all my friends and family call me AJ.  I am a 39-year-old woman with 4 biological children.  My oldest son is David.  At the time of pregnancy, I was not ready to be a mom and my mother always wanted a son, so my mother adopted him.  He is now 15 years old and loves hockey.  I do not regret the decision to have my mother raise him because he has a very good life now and is very loved.  At the age of 17 I had my life all planned out.  I had enlisted in the Navy.  I scored very high on the ASVAPS and landed a position in the nuclear bomb program.  My life was mapped out, but God had other plans for my life that were not my own.  On September 17th of 2003, about a month before my leave out date I was back roading with a group of friends from High School, there were 5 of us in the vehicle.  My best friend, my boyfriend and two other male friends.  The boy that was driving thought it would be funny to scare us girls by lowing through the stop signs.  But it wasn’t funny, not in the least and the last stop sign he blew we were t-boned by a truck at about 70mph.  None of us were wearing seat belts.  The two boys in the front seat were projected from the vehicle and died upon impact.  My best friend died on impact from head trauma.  My boyfriend was in a coma for three months and when he came out of the coma his mind was never the same.  He now has the mind of a small child to this day.  As for myself, I was rushed in a helicopter to the University of Michigan hospital where I was in bed for about a month in a half due to the trauma and injury.  I tore the aortic valve of my heart, crushed my pelvis, right femur leg was broken in half, and a broken clavicle bone, along with minor brain trauma.  I had multiple surgeries, and a lot of physical therapy before I was able to return home. When I finally was able to go home, I was bound to a wheelchair for about 6 months and had to teach myself to walk again. All the physical trauma I went through was nothing comparable to the mental trauma I had to overcome. I took the survival’s guilt very hard. Why did I survive and no one else did. I struggled with this dilemma. And no amount of therapy could answer the questions I had for God! During this time, I was prescribed a lot of strong pain medications for a long period of time. The pain medication soon became my only relief in life, I began to depend on them, they became my friend, through time I formed an emotional relationship to them, a very toxic relationship, and when my family and the doctors tried to tear that relationship apart, I began to grow very angry and hurt.  Soon I turned to the streets to find my dear friend through drugs and alcohol my relationships grew to be more and more toxic, it started to wear me down physically and emotionally. I became very unreliable, untrustworthy, and just downright miserable. In 2009 I was pregnant with my first child struggling with the idea of having to really love another person when I didn’t even love myself i made the decision to give him to my mother for adoption and I started my first instant in rehab. It did not go very well. I just wasn’t ready. It felt forced I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Soon I was back out on the streets chasing a very fast lifestyle. In 2010 I caught papers felony case I was sentenced to probation but was struggling to remain sober and the judge sentenced me to a year in the county jail. During this year I attended a NA and church I started to heal on the inside and began my real journey to sobriety. I was released in early 2011 and I found a job in a small apartment and was able to maintain and become an active member of society. I still struggled with drugs and alcohol, but I was able to put the hard drugs down and maintain a somewhat normal, functional life.  In 2012 I met my match, my future husband, and future father of my children. I soon got pregnant with my oldest daughter Ava I struggled during my pregnancy with Ava I was working all the time, and struggled with a lot of pain towards the end of the pregnancy I was not using pain meds every day but did slip up and use a few times near the end. I was suffering from health disease and preeclampsia and went into labor round eight months she was born April 12th, 2013, six pounds nine oz via an emergency C-section. She had a full head of hair and beautiful big brown eyes. I fell in love instantly. I finally knew what true love really was, to love another human being more than yourself. And since I didn’t love myself very much this was very new to me. Ava was not able to feed from a bottle and had to have a feeding tube put in place. At birth Ava and myself tested positive for hydrocodone and soon after CPS paid me a visit Ava was then placed in foster care and my life began to change quickly, she was now awarded the stay and my future husband and myself had a very long journey ahead of us to get her back. The struggle was long and very real. Our life was no longer ours. We had CPS coming to our home all times of the day just popping up whenever. Constant drug screens, parenting classes, minimum 40-hour work weeks. Supervised visitation, counseling, etcetera and in the midst of this case I became pregnant with my second daughter Maya who was born January 23rd, 2014. I remained sober all this time and she came home with me from the hospital, but I was still fighting for Ava to return home. Over a period of two years, and in this case my girl’s father and myself became very stressed he was drinking a lot and was soon forced by CPS to move out of the home. Ava was returned to me, and I had both my girls and my care for a while became a single mom working 40 hours maintaining my home my girls and keeping up with CPS requirements. My girl’s father and myself kept in constant contact and the relationship was very rocky considering. I was court ordered to stay away from him and he was not supposed to be around the girls. Soon CPS received an anonymous tip that I was allowing their father to see them, and they came and removed both girls from my custody I was devastated why did God keep removing everyone I loved. I soon became very depressed and lost. I turned back into my old self and started back into my addiction. Soon I caught another jail sentence of nine months, and my girls were adapted to a good family, but I no longer was able to see them. I thought about them every day though prayed for them that they were happy and loved period time went on and soon the pain lessened their father and myself continued our contact. In 2018 when I was released from jail, I found out he, future husband had a daughter on the way I’m Mariano was born January 25th, 2018. I fell in love again and soon became her mom! He gained full custody of her, and we began living our lives again. In 2019 I became pregnant with a girl. My husband and myself were married on December 17th of 2019, and my youngest fellow was born December 21st, 2019. When Bella was born, we soon found out that Bella and myself have a rare genetic disease called pompe disease. It does not have symptoms until you are older, so this did not affect Bella, but it did affect me however. The genetic specialist informed me that without proper treatment I would start losing control of my muscles torso and limbs would be the first to go. In my mind this meant that I would be going out in a wheelchair, not being able to walk or care for myself. Having gone through this before, I became very angry at God and very depressed. I soon saw it back down into my addiction at a rapid pace. My husband could no longer work with me, I was not a good wife and although I love my girls very much i was no longer the mother that they deserved to have. In 2023 I had become so bad in my addiction, I was malnourished, my skin was sinking in, I just didn’t want to live life. My husband no longer allowed me to stay at home, so I was staying at shelters, on the streets basically wherever until he gave me the option rehab or divorce. So, I picked rehab about a week or so before I left for rehab someone called CPS on us because I was still using. They remove the girl’s fellow was placed with her older sisters Ava and Maya and Amariana was placed with her biological mother CPS drove me to rehab I completed the rehab program and was accepted into women’s life recovery program here in Battle Creek. At the WLRP I have found myself again. I have developed a relationship with God that I had only dreamed of beforehand. I know now that I am never alone, and that God is always with me. God loves me and I love myself it is an amazing feeling to have period I am 100% sober now and never want to go back. My husband and I have begun to rebuild our marriage. I have relationships with wonderful women at the WLRP and even a best friend I have reunited with all three of my girls Ava and Bella. I have visitation with Ava and Maya once a month and visitation with Bella weekly. Bella will be returned to me at the WLRP their peak at the end of January I am working on my visitations with  Amariana also. The WlRP saved my life, and through them I was introduced to the Woman’s Co-op where myself and my husband participate in parenting classes, resiliency, keeping families together, and nurturing parents. But this is not all or limited to. I am here today to volunteer and give back to other women and families like myself. In order for me to keep recovering and keep growing I need to stay active in my community and women’s call off allows me to do this very thing period I pray my story can help someone else who need to hear it thank you with love AJ.

 

Previous Post